I can’t do this anymore | Glow up Diaries Episode 16

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Alivia D'Andrea

Alivia D'Andrea

Vor 7 Tage

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❒ Episode 16 was filmed: April 2019 - August 2019
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ABOUT THE GLOW UP DIARIES: At rock bottom I picked up a camera and began documenting my physical and mental pain that seemingly existed without meaning. For the next two years I recorded the “Glow Up Diaries” which is a raw docu-series of my deepest, most painful moments in an effort to find a newer, brighter existence. I openly share my difficulties despite the insistence of the media that such “shameful” feelings be kept in a closet.

Glow Up Diaries Episodes: bit.ly/37O0bX6
➩ Episode 15: deshow.info/watch/81dqaLHYfRk/video.html

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Alivia D'Andrea
Alivia D'Andrea Vor 5 Tage
New episodes of Season 2 of the Glow up Diaries (the final season) will be released every Wednesday beginning end of October 2020!! Subscribe and turn on the bell notification to get notified when I post!! You can also follow the glow up diary instagram account for updates: @a.glow.up.diary
Lily's Life
Lily's Life Vor Stunde
Can you do a how to stay healthy during the school year? Like how not to get hungry during class or some other topics?
Diana J
Diana J Vor 4 Stunden
Alivia D'Andrea wow I just realized I've started binge eating subconsciously any ways to replace it and stop it in its tracks cuz it's hard for me to tell the difference between I'm hungry because I'm hungry or I'm hungry because I just worked out or I'm hungry because I want to eat
Natasha Walsh
Natasha Walsh Vor 2 Tage
starriix is
gabi daugherty
gabi daugherty Vor 3 Tage
Oh my gosh I’m so excited this season has open my eyes up!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Popping Candy
Popping Candy Vor 3 Tage
aislynn vignes okay the “jesus is always there for you” thing is only for certain religion and dont try to convince her to do that
Annie Jirovec
Annie Jirovec Vor 36 Minuten
seeing you cry makes me wanna cry. I really understand the toxic thoughts and where they come from. I always go to these videos for inspiration to keep going on my glow up journey
Lovely Nobody UwU
Lovely Nobody UwU Vor Stunde
She literally needs a Netflix series
TheBookOfDepression Vor 4 Stunden
Nada Belarbi
Nada Belarbi Vor 5 Stunden
3:05 😂😂 My name is Hikaru
Jillian Janse
Jillian Janse Vor 5 Stunden
So I just wanted to say, I watched all the episodes in one day. You are so inspiring. The growth, it was amazing to see😍😍 I think you helped a lot of people realise that they are not alone struggling with themselves and that all the pain, is not your destination but can be the start of your journey, when you are ready to move along with the pain and really face your fears. I struggled with bullimia 2 years ago.. I got over it when I really started looking inside myself, focus on my thoughts and think patterns/cycle. But.. I did not realise, I am not fully healed. Till this day, I still struggled with saying yes to something 'unhealthy'. You made me realise that.. I always thought that it was normal. Society confused me, now I want to work more on myself to find balance again. thank you❤❤
Dwi _
Dwi _ Vor 5 Stunden
"It is great that i spoke kindly to myself [...] but i didn't need that kind of self-love. I needed tough self-love, which i didn't understand this concept at the time." This spoke to me so strongly ! I dealt with strong depression and anxiety for 3 years. Over the years, I learned to practice self-love and to always be kind to myself. And I knew that I love myself. I did considered myself as my best friend. Yet, I had a hard period a few months ago because I was DESPERATE, I was still feeling empty and sad and having stronger breakdowns and I didn't understand why. I didn't understand why all the love I gave to myself was still not enough after all this time. And then I understood. I was too kind to myself. I was afraid to be angry at myself because I was too afraid of negative thoughts. But I realised that tough love is not negative thoughts. A real best friend would tell you if you did something bad for yourself, they would try to help you get through it. Instead, I made myself comfortable by saying "that's okay, it's no big deal, you will be better someday" all the time instead of "that's okay but you can do better. You will not be better *someday*, you can start being better the next minute. You can take action now instead of just accept the feeling. Otherwise you have to accept that you won't get better." And when I realised that, everything started to get better. Tough love is simply the last piece I needed.
Alivia D'Andrea
Alivia D'Andrea Vor 5 Stunden
OnceUponATime Vor 9 Stunden
The Lord has used you greatly in my life. I was nothing. Now I'm fixing my life; working WITH the Lord to change my life. Not just asking then doing nothing to fix anything. Me alone can't do anything. But with him, I'm no longer a walking zombie in my life. Thank you for your videos, I was unaware that I was living but not breathing. Today was the first day in months I made my bed, read the bible, danced, drink a lot of water, and went outside of my room to play with my little sis and bro. Today I'm happy. Thank you.
Anonymous Flower
Anonymous Flower Vor 10 Stunden
I tend to starve myself for hours tell I brake and binge! I normally start bingeing around 5,6,or 7 it starts slow then by midnight it gets worse. I barely sleep! I’m changing that slowly around! I might come back and update for those who actually read this! Time for me to start controlling my life and not my urges!!
Lime Powder
Lime Powder Vor 10 Stunden
I think I like a little part of me belive in me when I hate my body,acne, choices...But that part always says "It is OK. You are not a bad person I belive in you".I want to listen her.She is me. She knows REAL me...I am really grateful for that.
Secret of my art
Secret of my art Vor 11 Stunden
What a powerful way to end the video.. it moved me to tears.
Khushi Shah
Khushi Shah Vor 11 Stunden
Thank you for just being Alivia. You don't know how much I needed this today. I've been feeling useless and insecure for the past five months as soon as the lockdown was imposed. It's an old habit that took me a year to break out of and I'm feeling as if I can't trust myself anymore. But seeing this video, watching someone like YOU mess up and at least trying to make it better gives me the hope that even I can do it.
Shaila A
Shaila A Vor 13 Stunden
Why spend money on netflix when you have this?.. OH AND.. No One was born ugly, we just live in a judgmental society. You are pretty just the way you are, you just need to accept it
Sarah Zourob
Sarah Zourob Vor 14 Stunden
youre so pretty
selin atk
selin atk Vor 14 Stunden
I’m looking SO FORWARD to it❤️
selin atk
selin atk Vor 14 Stunden
When will you post the dating diaries?🙈
Cynthia Wang
Cynthia Wang Vor 15 Stunden
girl I really suggest you go see a psychiatrist because binge eating might be a psychological issue
wonder_ballerina Vor 15 Stunden
Such a beautiful and inspiring video! You're my favorite youtuber Alivia 💟
soph Vor 16 Stunden
Are we not gonna talk about how she went with AirPods in the pool?
Sky Tong
Sky Tong Vor 17 Stunden
Hey! I just wanted to say how grateful i am that you're so transparent with your journey. I was going through a binge cycle exactly like yours for more than half a year and only recently (a few months ago) have i gotten back on track. I wish i had watched this while in my binge period because i know that this would have helped me with my own mindset so much. I'm so glad you're doing better now, excited to see season 2 of Glow up Diaries!
Maria Ferre
Maria Ferre Vor 17 Stunden
I can’t explain how much i love these series and how motivated i feel when i watch the videos. ❤️
jessequick 04
jessequick 04 Vor 18 Stunden
ok, lemme be honest. dude ur awesome in every way u legit have so many talents and u work hard as hell. i had started my weight loss journey the same time u did, and I also didn't end up with results, I simply had a body goal that I was never able to get. but now i realized why i was so caught in the thought of being someone i wanted to be in the eyes of others. I was surrounded by people with negative talks and basically a toxic surrounding , once i realised it i started distancing myself from it and rn tbh i have become a much better person. i have started to realise my talents , which i was simply ranting abt while losing weight. I never focused on anything else because of this shit . rn i dont even have that much of an obsession with the weighing scale that i used to keep on checking after every hour . i ended up in the same loop that u were going through. but tbh its of no use. my happiness didn't come from it so why do it. i stopped everything and started focusing on things that actually mattered, rn im at a position where i can be confident abt the stuff i do. i had become overly unconfident during my weight loss journey. and we r gonna die anyways. might as well be more helpful to the earth and give more nutrients to it while dying . ur doing great , but think abt what makes u happy . ur videos are awesome and i hope u stay happy doing whatever u want
Isabella Clemmons
Isabella Clemmons Vor 20 Stunden
Thank you for being honest and putting yourself out here
Loveliberty Vor 20 Stunden
rano Bekmuratova
rano Bekmuratova Vor 21 Stunde
You made us perfect and make it through now it our turn quote you said: “you didn’t come all the way here to give up”
Lydia M
Lydia M Vor 21 Stunde
Thank you for bleeping out any numbers, those are triggering for me 😊
juls Vor 21 Stunde
aaaaa i cant wait
Hannah _
Hannah _ Vor 22 Stunden
when she talked about not wanting to exercise i read an article about that. your “animal brain” wants to conserver energy for survival situations so you don’t want to work out.
Alejandra_ Roses
Alejandra_ Roses Vor 23 Stunden
Hi Alivia I’ve been with you for a LONG TIME you helped me get flexible and I really love your videos and but I have a question if I have something unhealthy cuz that’s what my family eats and some veggies on the side do you think that’s fine. Ps when I was younger and did your stretches I pretended like I was with you cuz I didn’t wanna give up😂❤️
Ashley Luiz
Ashley Luiz Vor 23 Stunden
She motivates me so much she’s my fav DEshow’s for motivation
worried-giant 296
worried-giant 296 Vor Tag
Atleast you have 1 million subscribers theres nothing wrong with you 😞
Beatriz Tovo
Beatriz Tovo Vor Tag
I really liked that u didn’t put your weight when u were talking about it! A lot of videos talking about struggling with the scale or eating disorders say the weight they were and then show de picture or whatever and I really think it’s not good, I used to compare my weight to when people sad they were “the skinniest” or when they thought they were overweight!!
Hannah Abozaid
Hannah Abozaid Vor Tag
I can't wait for season 2. Your videos don't just give me motivation, they teach me to never give up in anything cause the moment I give up is the moment I loose it all, The reason why I started in the first place. Luv u and I hope we'll keep seeing more of u even after the diaries
Ravni x
Ravni x Vor Tag
I've had a huge problem of over eating and cravings for unhealthy food, I was at a very bad relationship with food, and then I followed intuitive eating, I eat whatever I like at the moment and the next meal I choose is extremely healthy, if I have the food I crave like a slice of pizza, I have it guilt free and then the craving stops for days and suddenly it's my lifestyle, I love this method sooo very much enjoying every food guilt free yet maintaining balance 🌹❤
Olya Lishik
Olya Lishik Vor Tag
u know I cried cause i have the same thoughts rn and i just hope for that 1% that will work in a time. Thanks for sharing your history, now i don't feel lonely
moni .
moni . Vor Tag
She's the main character. Most def
Cosmos S
Cosmos S Vor Tag
I feel like, you might be internalising these standards set and vocalised to you by a parent, w.r.t weight and looking a certain way. You think it's coming from your mind, but you might have subconsciously accepted these beliefs which your brain knows are not true and not to be adhered to. And binging is a coping mechanism because you haven't addressed them with whoever exerted that pressure on you. It might just go away when you address and find healthier coping methods towards, loneliness, negative talk you heard growing up and the pain caused from it. I don't follow you, and have seen only one other video of you where you were crying after comments from your mother about food. Maybe the work you need to put in is not in restricting calories but in the thoughts you're accepting as your own, which might have been just projected on you growing up.
Diana Love
Diana Love Vor Tag
10:14 I gotta remember that 5:54 I can relate to that
abbsnn cose
abbsnn cose Vor Tag
go, but I look forward to the journey that lies ahead. Thank you
ella milly
ella milly Vor Tag
i’ve followed the glow up diaries since i saw the first episode and watching your journey has been truly inspiring; you’ve shown us the realities of a lifestyle change and it is honestly the most empowering and relatable thing i have watched on this platform. thank you for sharing your journey with us, i cannot wait for season 2. lots of love :)xxx
ella milly
ella milly Vor 10 Stunden
abbsnn cose me too, but you’ll get better. lots of love x
abbsnn cose
abbsnn cose Vor Tag
i miss when eating wasn't so complicated.
Precious Ann Manalo
Precious Ann Manalo Vor Tag
Try not to eat 7pm onwards. It will help.
Mimi Rose
Mimi Rose Vor Tag
I just want to thank you
Ella B.
Ella B. Vor Tag
11:41 girl are you swimming with AirPods??!
i'm so glad that you're happy now Alivia
noir mind
noir mind Vor Tag
I had bulimia for years... going vegan saved me.❤
Max Imus
Max Imus Vor Tag
honestly cant wait to try that deodorant because when i put on my natural deodorant; its so not smooth and rough that I feel like my skin is tearing apart...
Alivia D'Andrea
Alivia D'Andrea Vor Tag
Native’s deodorant is soo smooth 😍
NewBookSmell Vor Tag
Negotiation is more powerful than tyranny. You can force yourself to do something in the short term but the best way is to ask what you would be willing to do and start from there. Forcing yourself to "be better" than what you are is a great way to burn yourself out or just breakdown full stop. It's a terrible way to live but its so easy to forget your doing it. I've never had an eating problem or a body problem but I know what it's like to force yourself to the point that you don't have control anymore over what you do. It's terrifying and would not recommend.
Hey it's Tinn
Hey it's Tinn Vor Tag
In the starting I thought oh this is so negative but later I realised that this is me. And i don't want to accept that this is what I do.
Laura P
Laura P Vor Tag
I was so close to give up on myself and die until you said that thing with 1% ,that stucks on my head now. I'm not a teenager, I have 30 years old and I am so surprized how much things I learn from people younger than me. When you grow up this world eats you...thank you
Lewi english
Lewi english Vor Tag
♾How are you so good at editing? ♾Since when are u dancing/doing gymnastics? ♾How do u get inspiration for quotes?
ukiyo_ Vor Tag
I love you.
Pickle the Dinosaur
Pickle the Dinosaur Vor Tag
Im glad she’s better now, bu just remember it’s not necessarily how much you eat, but what you eat that makes a difference. Sticking to a healthy, balanced yet filling diet makes for a strong and healthy body. Everyone has different standards for weight and eating; each individual has their own number that can be considered overweight or healthy - don’t compare yourself to others.
Emily Vor Tag
This is exactly the mentality I had when I was in school - I overate one tiny thing, panicked about it and didn't eat until I was so hungry that I just binged. To this day I still don't know how I got out of the loop, I never saw a professional and people who do such a great job talking about this on social media didn't exist yet. The internet was still full of pro-ana tumblrs and Pinterest boards. I'm good now, but every now and again I can feel myself getting paranoid about calories and I'm tempted to start restricting. I don't think I'll ever 100% be okay with food, but I'm much better now.
ALittleAtiny ATINY
ALittleAtiny ATINY Vor Tag
Instead of binging on food, I binge watch this series💕
Mahnoor Faisal
Mahnoor Faisal Vor Tag
where did you study in taiwan?
Srinidhi Madurai
Srinidhi Madurai Vor Tag
i miss when eating wasn't so complicated.
Delia Enya
Delia Enya Vor Tag
one of the best series on here. i can t wait for sez 2
noirgloss Vor Tag
there is a positive correlation with ppl who go on healthy eating and workout journeys and the development of eating disorders. these journeys are esp. dangerous when you have a goal body your tryna achieve, i just want to say do not push yourself to do anything in this world also look into intuitive eating.
eWe Mad
eWe Mad Vor Tag
Looking now I am very suspicious that you may have an eating disorder. Like whatever you are saying to yourself is not so positive for you and the behaviour...
Samantha Bells
Samantha Bells Vor Tag
Girl, I hope you know how many people you're helping right now. I know it must be difficult exposing yourself like this, but thank you - thank you - thank you! Thank you for sharing your inner side to help others, and most of all thank you for not giving up on yourself . I'm currently try to do the same... I'm still trying!